Things That Feel Like Therapy
…and not one of them involves a co-pay.
Let’s be real: I’ve done therapy. I like therapy. But sometimes what I really need isn’t to unpack my inner child—it’s to put on my red lipstick and walk into a bar like I own the place.
Here are three things that feel like therapy, especially when you're a woman of a certain age and absolutely done playing small.
1. Walking into a Bar Alone and Ordering Exactly What You Want
There’s something wildly liberating about belly-ing up to the bar solo. Not looking for attention. Not waiting for a friend. Not scrolling through your phone like it’s a security blanket.
You walk in, take the seat, and say, “I’ll have the dirty martini—extra dirty, like my 20s.”
The bartender raises an eyebrow. The younger women look over, curious. The energy shifts. You didn’t just enter a bar. You entered your power.
It’s not about the drink. It’s about the act. The declaration. The confidence that says: I am allowed to take up space and enjoy the hell out of it.
Therapeutic benefits:
Boosts confidence
Rewires your nervous system to stop waiting for an invitation
Confirms the world does not end if you show up alone
2. Trying on Something Slightly Ridiculous—and Buying It Anyway
Feathers. Sequins. Leather pants. A hat that says, “I do what I want.” I once tried on a velvet blazer so over-the-top it practically sang show tunes. I bought it. And I wore it to a dive bar.
Why? Because it made me feel something. Something loud. Something alive. Something like... me, unedited.
You know what doesn’t feel like therapy? Beige. Safe. Sensible. We’ve spent decades being appropriate. Let’s try something else.
Therapeutic benefits:
Rekindles play
Reclaims your body as a canvas
Sparks joy (which, yes, is still allowed after 60)
3. Telling the Truth—Out Loud, Without Apologizing
Here’s your permission slip: You don’t have to be polite about things that hurt you. You don’t have to shrink to make others comfortable. And you absolutely do not need to smile while saying something that broke your heart.
Whether it’s saying, “That friendship ran its course,” or “I don’t want to go to your baby shower,” or even just “I’m tired of pretending I don’t mind eating alone,”—telling the truth feels like breathing again.
It doesn’t need to be dramatic. It just needs to be honest.
Therapeutic benefits:
Stops energy leaks
Builds emotional muscle
Attracts people who can actually handle you (which is... fewer people than you think, but that's a feature, not a bug)
Final thought:
You don’t need a diagnosis to deserve relief. You just need a few moments that remind you who the hell you are.
And in case no one told you lately?
You're not too old. You're not too late.
You're just getting warmed up.